Season of Preparation


In 1991, just before I headed off to College, the Lord gave me an open vision.  As I was driving my car, suddenly in my mind’s eye, I saw a huge movie screen open before my eyes and there it was.  The events of my past!  My heart was filled with remorse, as I uttered, “oops, sorry Father.”  It was clear that I had been steering my life in the wrong direction.  In the most gentle and gracious way, He said, “This is what you have done, I want you to see what I can do.”  His timing was perfect because I was ready for a change of lifestyle.   At that time, I was working the evening shift at the most popular bar in my hometown.   I was living my life selfishly and doing as I pleased without regard for anyone else.  Instantly, I knew that the way I had been living was unacceptable to my loving Saviour.   The one who had been with me the whole time. The one who died so that I could live.   Watching and allowing my very poor choices, Jesus loved me too much not to intervene.  He knew that the path I was on would lead to death.  He came so that I could have an abundant life of peace and joy.   So, He used the consequences of my bad behaviour to draw me to Himself.

Even though, I accepted Christ into my heart when I was 8 years old, my Holy Spirit education began when I was 21.  Looking back, I should have gone to Bible College instead of taking two years to become a travel consultant.  I’ve been toying with the idea of going to Bible College now, just to satisfy man, not that I think it wouldn’t be great fun. I do!!  But the Lord reminds me that He has prepared me exactly the way I am for His purpose and He doesn’t want me to be concerned about a title or a position.  The door He opens no man can shut.    1 John 2:27 says, “You have received the Holy Spirit, and He lives within you, so you don’t need anyone to teach you what is true.  For the Spirit teaches you everything you need to know, and what He teaches is true – it is not a lie.  (The Message Bible version adds, “uncontaminated by a single lie”)  The Holy Spirit’s teachings are uncontaminated by man’s imposed ideas.   As well, Jesus said, “As it is written in the scriptures, ‘They will all be taught by God.’  Everyone who listens to the Father and learns from Him comes to me.”   Is it possible to be prepared by God to do His work without Bible College?  HE seems to think so!

While in college, I worked my way through a twelve step program.  The program encouraged us to, “take what we like and leave the rest.”   We choose what makes sense to us and mold our belief system around our own thoughts and feelings.  However, God wants us to build our belief system on His Word.   I’ve decided to soar like an Eagle in this life by basking in the amazing events, that Ephesians 2:10 tells us, He has planned for us to do.   Experiences that He promises are beyond my best imaginings.  He will satisfy my soul and the desires of my heart.

While homeschooling my son, pre-planning the lessons was important but I learned to be flexible because Holy Spirit reserved the right to change my plans at any given moment.   His memorable lessons always last a lifetime.   I want the only Father that I’ve ever had, to be proud of me and I know He is.  The one thing in this life I am secure in, is “His Love for Me.”   Sometimes, I worry that I’m too much like Moses and instead of speaking to the rock, I will become angry and have to face the consequences.  What I mean is, that my hasty behavior will set me off the best destiny path the Lord has for me.  Regardless, I know that nothing can make My Father love me any less.  However, I prefer the speed of the Holy Highway rather than the bumpy wayward ditch.

Since the experience of my open vision, I’ve pursued intimacy with God passionately so that my life can be a living testament to Him.  In the same way that Jesus did many other things while he was here.   If those events were all written down, the whole world could not contain the books that would be written.  Our lives would produce many books as well.   No one knows what you are capable of.  Only He knows.   My Holy Spirit education will never be complete and I CAN do all things with Christ, who strengthens me.   I wouldn’t want to do it any other way!


The words of my mother that still ring in my ears are, “If you have nothing good to say, don’t say anything at all!” So today’s blog is about finding some encouragement for me because I’m sad and discouraged. If you were speaking to me face to face generally I’m humorously sarcastic. So far my blogs have not really expressed that side of my personality. Maybe by talking about Samson, I will lift my spirit and even be able to convey a moral in this story.
In the book of Judges, chapter 13, after the Angel of the Lord appeared to Manoah’s wife, she becomes pregnant with Samson. She is instructed not to drink alcohol or eat any forbidden food because her child will be dedicated to the Lord and will begin an important work. Not only does the Lord appear to her once but He returns to her after Manoah prays for Him to reappear. Showing Himself the second time, she runs to fetch her husband. Why didn’t the Lord appear to Manoah personally? After all, he has a name. And why is her name unimportant? She is forever known as Manoah’s wife and Samson’s mother. To this, I can relate. As I go about my daily activities, I run across many children who emphatically express their happiness in seeing me by yelling, “Hi Kaleb’s mom or Terran’s mom or Sasha’s mom.” Often my eldest son’s friends walk in our home and declare, “Hey Mom, is Dean home?” What an honor!
Before having any children, often couples have grandiose plans of having many children. Well, at least we did. When we got to four, I started questioning my mothering skills. I did not think I was equipped. It’s only the really brave that go through with those plans. The typical status quo of 2 children thinks parents of large families are crazy and I’ve even heard “irresponsible” because some think they become a burden on society. Nothing could be further from the truth. I met a lady who had twelve children. She has one husband and all twelve children are his and God provides for them all without the help of social services. In my opinion, families like hers add much value to any community. She is a strong amazing woman and she is my hero. She has a name but I did not get her permission to publish it.
It’s interesting to me that God includes so many stories about women that are barren, in the bible. Abraham’s wife, Sarah, also mother of many nations was once infertile. Elkanah’s wife, Hannah’s womb was closed before God gave her the desire of her heart, which was Samuel. When God wanted to punish a people he would shut the wombs of their women. Is it because being able to birth and raise children is the best gift a couple can be granted? God says that children are a reward from the Lord. A reward? Yes, a reward!



Recently, I forewarned my friends, family and co-workers that I am in the midst of making some adjustments in the way I speak.  Taking every thought and every word captive and bringing it into obedience has been interesting.   As I often get carried away in a story I am telling, I may need to ask the Lord for forgiveness right in mid-sentence.

In January, I felt the Lord impressing upon me to revisit the book “30 days to Taming your Tongue” as a New Year’s Resolution.   At the time, my thinking was that my tongue wasn’t that bad and with my sister-in-law, her 2 sons and her 3 dogs living with us, I had a lot on my plate. In truth, I felt the purpose of my unbridled tongue was stress relief.   As the year wore on, I could see that this place of discontentment that I had arrived at was a world created by the power of my tongue.

As I listened to a teaching on the effects cursing, which can be as simple as calling someone an idiot, has on one’s life, I started to realize that I had become angry, although it seemed justifiably so, the anger was creating negative circumstances.   So I quickly got out my prayer book and one by one started to renounce and rebuke or call back or put to flames the words I had used against people who had harmed me and started to pray for each person the way I pray for myself.

Adam F. Thompson, author of “The Supernatural Man” said that if you want to see your life change quickly and drastically for the better and if you want to walk in your destiny, then you must pray in tongues continuously. I started praying in and out of the Spirit as much as it came to my mind to pray.   I’ve been told and am aware that many people feel very uncomfortable with tongues as I did when the Lord encouraged me to start.   Some people think that tongues is a gift that is only given to some.   Speaking is a gift to us all. Communicating without the gift of speaking can be very difficult. Learning a new language or even sign language is a very challenging but rewarding skill.   God asks us to trust Him in the ability of acquiring a prayer language and we must step out of our comfort zone. We enter into it realizing that 97% of the things we say, we may never understand.  However our faith is built up as a result.   We gain greater understanding when the Spirit is communicating with our spirit.   My prayer language is a private and intimate undertaking but has been rewarding beyond my understanding.   God in His mercy allows us revelation and insight into how our faithfulness to our prayer language is being realized in our sphere of influence. The enemy (aka the devil) absolutely hates those who trust God at this level and frankly anything he hates I’m willing to undertake.   I definitely want the strongest weapons in my arsenal.

With repentance and constant prayer, it’s like jet fuel has been added to my walk with God.   In 6 short months, I have been used by God to produce miracles and I am excited for the next 6 months.




It is what we were created for. Our Purpose. Our Destiny!

I’m in Love with my Bridegroom King. He listens for hours and remains interested. In response, He satisfies my desires, fulfills my dreams and gives me gifts. This is no small feat because I have a bucket list the length of eternity.   He builds my confidence and has never broken it down. He asks me to wait and does not disappoint. Although it doesn’t sound like it, this relationship is two-sided. In trust, I have given Him my whole life and my whole heart. He is my hero, champion, lover (of my soul), best friend, and confidante! The one who created me and it is an honor and privilege to give back what is rightfully His.   Within His love, I have learned who I am.   I am an important member of His family “the church”.  I say important because there was a time when I couldn’t even choke out those words without bursting into tears. Understanding my importance has solidified, in my heart how important every one of his children are.

As I’ve shared before the Lord often speaks to me while I’m doing the normal things a homemaker does. One day, as I was putting my canning away, in my cold room, under the stairs, God’s love poured out over me. This presence of fullness and joy was illuminated light and tangibly light, meaning not heavy.  Impartation came with the understanding that this love was for everyone to experience and share without competition. I never again needed to be insecure about His love toward me. The desire to take everyone to heaven in my mothering arms became a powerful force.  The world teaches that love hurts more than it heals.   Love is being so abused.   People love for all the wrong reasons.   Selfish love is not love at all.   I grieve for those who don’t know they are loved with the abundant love Jesus offers. But in my grief is where I declare victory with my tears. Evangeline Johnson, in the seventy sixth issue of Above Rubies says, “Warriors cry tears with purpose. Their hearts are set on the knowledge that God sees their tears and acts on their behalf.” Tears are weapons against injustices such as human trafficking, slavery, abortion and corrupt governments as well as other issues that slap God in the face but that is for another blog.

Practicing Love with God, who is LOVE as well as the Perfect Father, the Best Brother, the Wonderful Counsellor, the Merciful King, the Lord of Heavens Armies, the Emmanuel is our life’s purpose.  Some people call this religion, I call it relationship.


A few months ago, I woke up singing “The Days of Elijah”, when suddenly the words stopped me in my tracks. Literally, I was stunned with the possibility.   The question that popped into my mind was, “Is this song prophetic?” so I went on a quest to find its origin.   According to the Jewish calendar, September 2015 just ended the seventh Shemitah. which adds up to 49 years. The fiftieth year is the year of Jubilee. This year will have two very distinct and opposite effects.   For those who are walking with God, they will experience blessing, deliverance, redemption, release, liberty, and rest.  Those walking away from God will experience judgement and sorrow from loss.   I believe this will affect both nations and as a result, individual citizens of the nations of the world.

My shock came as I sang the lyrics “Behold He (Jesus) comes riding on the clouds, shining like the sun at the trumpet call, lift your voice, it’s the year of Jubilee.”   Sometimes I have bad days and I sadly ask the Lord to take me home (to heaven) but I realized at that moment, I’m not ready for the Lord to return this year.   I respectfully and humbly requested another fifty years, if it is true that He is coming in a Jubilee year.   All along considering that Jesus requested that His Father take His cup (meaning death on the cross) from Him and we know how that went.   Your will be done, Lord, not mine.

So what is it going to take for me to be ready? What do I need to do on earth that I haven’t done yet that heaven won’t more than make up for?   How do I fulfill my destiny?

I’m going to start with a public confession.   At a low point in my life when I was feeling sorrow and remorse for the sin I’d committed against God for not asking Him who He wanted me to marry and taking it upon myself to enter into an unequally yoked marriage, the Lord told me that my life was likened unto Hosea’s. Not the same message but still a prophetic act lived out.   Back in Hosea’s day, I’m certain the people who examined his life probably thought he was crazy.  Most people would not believe that God would instruct him to marry a prostitute.  Hosea’s marriage illustrated to the Israelites how unfaithful they were being to God.

Before I chose to marry, God gave me ample warning but I did not know Him well enough to trust him.   What I did was wrong.  However, God never leaves us without hope.   Romans 8:28 says that God will make everything work together for the good of those who love Him. And I love him. And He has made my life good with the one exception.   After twenty years of marriage, my husband still refuses to acknowledge God. I’ve grown in relationship with the Holy Spirit and have learned to trust Him.   Therefore, I believe that I will see clearly both sides of the Jubilee. The good and the bad. God allowed my choice for His purposes. Although, I’m not yet sure of the message of my life to the world.

God is crying out, trying to warn us of the pending disasters ahead.   We need to listen very closely because those who hear and heed his instructions, will be given greater understanding and protection. Those who do not listen and obey, protection and understanding will be taken away. Without understanding, confusion and insanity will set in.   Not a pretty picture.   Many have turned away from God to various lusts of the flesh, lust of the eyes and the pride of life; but in spite of all this God remains faithful and patient, giving grace and mercy.



Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are; the day you are born and the day you find out why.”

After high school, I investigated possible career choices because I had no idea where I wanted to go or what I wanted to do.   So many opportunities! Why did I need to choose just one?   The desire to travel directed me to the  decision of becoming a travel consultant.   This choice of career put me exactly where God wanted me to be.   My course studies were not very intense which left time in my schedule for other advancements, like self improvement and serving others.   At that time, I felt the Lord’s hand upon my life more clearly than I had ever felt before.  He was preparing me for what would come next.

Before I was married I saw in a vision my first born son. I knew then I was meant to be a mother.   After giving birth to my four children and accepting the role of motherhood, some years later while attending a Christian meeting, I was called to attention by the speaker, Ben.   He prophesied over me saying, “ You are a spiritual mother but even greater you are a mother of many nations.”   He alluded to possibly going to raise children in another country which has not come to pass yet.  Although, I do have 3 foster children from El Salvador, Togo Africa, and Nepal.

While having lunch with a friend this week, she reminded me that being a wife is a calling as well.   In my experience,  it’s more challenging than motherhood, especially to one who blatantly refuses God at every opportunity.   I must humbly request your prayer for this calling.   From now on my prayer will be;  God grant husbands and wives the serenity to accept the things they cannot change, courage to change the things they can, wisdom to know the difference and patience while they wait for some things to change.”

We are also called to work as if the Lord is our boss.  We should work for Him the same way we love Him; with all our heart, with all our soul, with all our might and with all our strength.  Our calling may or may not produce an income but that should not stop us from fulfilling our destiny with passion.   God promises that when we “Seek His Kingdom First, All things will be added unto us.

God has called each of us individually to a HOLY calling, which is for his purpose and is only possible through the grace He very generously provides.   Our lives need to be pure, sacred, and glorifying toward God.   Just saying that makes me cringe.   At this point I need to remind myself that I am worthy because of what Jesus has done for me.   Fully realizing, I should try a lot harder to be a good girl.   Often I give myself liberty to be less than I could be because I believe that I’ve brought more people to Jesus being improper and unrefined.   It’s debatable.   I desperately want my Lord to be proud of me but I fail more often than I succeed.   Always remember God looks at your heart and is most concerned with your character.  Open your heart and listen to where He is leading so that you will live the complete destiny plan God intended for you.



Life is the acronym for Living In Freedom Everyday.   Without the experience of freedom, life cannot be fully enjoyed.   Freedom must be contended for because there are so many external forces that want to get you in shackles.  Spiritual prison cells can be caused from offense, control, manipulation, expectations, among other things.  Everyday we must refuse to accept offense into our lives.  For example, when another driver cuts you off, quickly replace your foul language against him/her with forgiveness and blessings for the rest of their day.  It feels phoney at first but it makes accepting that people make mistakes and becoming light-hearted about the infractions people commit against you easier to let go of.  When someone is rude to you, realize that it is their problem and pray that the Lord will work peace, patience and kindness into that person’s heart.  While these behaviour’s allow you to remain emotionally free, they also create love in your heart for all God’s children.  Spending time with God every morning, where you experience peace and tranquility will make the chaotic periods of the day easier “to stay inside that peaceful state” which then makes the choice to reject offense effortless.  Honoring others by rejecting offense has a huge reward.  These behaviours also take courage because the human heart thinks it has a right to feel angry and vengeful which only leads to more negative thoughts and “the imprisonment”.  Often like William Wallace in the movie, Braveheart, sacrificing one’s own alleged rights to bring freedom to others is essential and achieves purpose in our lives.   I encourage you to be aware of how your heart responds to pure freedom.